Colossians 3:19

Colossians 3:19, in plain English

Husbands, love your wives genuinely and deeply, and don't treat them with harshness or cruelty.

Why it's here

This is the counterpart to verse 18, and it's just as important. Paul's telling husbands that their authority comes with responsibility. Love here isn't just sentiment; it's a commitment to care for, protect, and honor your wife. The warning against harshness suggests that some husbands in that culture—and perhaps in the Colossian church—were using their authority as an excuse to dominate or demean their wives. Paul is drawing a line.

Who's speaking

Paul

Where it sits in the story

This echoes what Peter writes in 1 Peter 3:7, calling husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way. And it's rooted in Jesus' entire vision of how the strong should treat the vulnerable—with gentleness and care.

The scholarly reading

Husbands, love your wives sacrificially and tenderly, refusing harshness in your dealings with them.

Language and setting

Paul's command employs ἀγαπάω (agapao—self-giving love) and explicitly prohibits πικρία (pikria—harsh, bitter treatment), a radical move in the patriarchal world. The Ephesians 5:25-33 parallel develops this further, comparing husbandly love to Christ's self-sacrificial love of the church. The stark simplicity—'love your wives'—contrasts sharply with patriarchal literature offering detailed commands about wives' obedience while offering husbands little beyond economic provision.

Voice

Paul, radicalizing household ethics through Christological love.

Significance

This echoes Jesus's teaching on love and reflects 1 Peter 3:7's parallel concern for husbands treating wives 'as joint heirs.' Together with verse 18, these prescriptions subordinate patriarchal convention to mutual love and Christian dignity, laying theological groundwork for the eventual abolition of patriarchal marriage.

17And whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.

21Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they will not become discouraged.

Read all of Colossians 3 — You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Strip off the old self like worn-out clothing and put on compassion, kindness, and love.