Hezekiah's Collection
Argue your case with your neighbor without betraying another’s confidence, Proverbs 25:9 · Berean Standard Bible
When you have a dispute with someone, settle it directly with them—don't bring other people's private information or secrets into it.
You're having a conflict with your neighbor, and you're tempted to involve someone else's confidential information to make your case stronger. Maybe you know something embarrassing about them that would help you win. But this proverb says that approach will poison everything. Keep the dispute between you, keep it honorable.
Solomon, teaching ethical conflict resolution
This reflects God's design for how His people should live together—with honesty toward one another, protecting each other's dignity, and resolving disputes in ways that honor relationships. It's part of the larger biblical picture of how the community of faith should function.
When arguing a dispute with your neighbor, make your case directly to them without dragging other people's secrets into the conflict.
The Hebrew רִיב (rib—dispute, argument) and the phrase אַל־תְּגַל־סוֹד אַחֵר (al-tagal sod acher—do not reveal another's secret) establish a crucial ethical boundary. The proverb distinguishes between legitimate dispute resolution and character assassination. Bringing in gossip or third-party information converts a direct conflict into a public shaming campaign. The implicit assumption is that conflict resolution works best through direct address and bounded confrontation. This anticipates Matthew 18:15's procedure for addressing wrongs—go directly first.
The wisdom teacher, offering a protocol for handling interpersonal conflict ethically.
This principle protects both the integrity of individual relationships and the stability of community. Later Jewish law (pikuach shalom—pursuing peace) builds extensively on this foundation. The New Testament extends it through Paul's instructions about bearing with one another's weaknesses (Ephesians 4:2-3).
7for it is better to be told, “Come up here!” than to be demoted in the presence of the prince. Even what you have seen with your own eyes,
8do not bring hastily to court. Otherwise, what will you do in the end when your neighbor puts you to shame?
9Argue your case with your neighbor without betraying another’s confidence,
10lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your infamy never go away.
11A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
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