Proverbs 25:17

Proverbs 25:17, in plain English

Don't spend too much time at your neighbor's house, or he'll start to resent you and the relationship will turn sour.

Why it's here

You like your neighbor. You enjoy spending time together. It's easy to just keep coming back. But there's a limit to how much presence anyone wants, even from people they like. Too much of anything, including companionship, can breed contempt. Relationships need space and boundaries to stay healthy.

Who's speaking

Solomon, offering practical wisdom about relationships and boundaries

Where it sits in the story

This connects to the larger biblical principle that relationships are about respecting others' needs and space, not consuming them. It's part of loving your neighbor—which includes not burdening them.

The scholarly reading

Visiting your neighbor's house too frequently will wear out their patience and transform friendliness into resentment and hatred.

Language and setting

The Hebrew הֲקֹר רַגְלְךָ מִבֵּית רֵעֶךָ (haqor raglekha mibeit re'echa—make rare/precious your foot from your neighbor's house) employs the verb קָרַר (qarar—to be rare, precious) which typically applies to worthy things. The irony is biting: by visiting too much, you transform yourself from rare (valuable) to common (predictable and tiresome). The phrase יִשְׂנְאָךְ (yisneakh—he will hate you) indicates that emotional reversal from fondness to animosity. This proverb recognizes boundaries as necessary to relationship preservation. Even good relationships require distance and anticipation. Montaigne later developed this into an essay on friendship's necessary breathing room.

Voice

The wisdom teacher, addressing the subtle dynamics of maintaining friendship.

Significance

This principle suggests that covenant relationships throughout Scripture require both proximity and distance, both presence and absence. The lectionary pattern of Israel's festivals (gathering and dispersing) reflects this rhythm. In the church, the principle of not being 'unequally yoked' (2 Corinthians 6:14) extends the boundary-consciousness to spiritual community.

15Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

16If you find honey, eat just what you need, lest you have too much and vomit it up.

17Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house, lest he grow weary and hate you.

18Like a club or sword or sharp arrow is a man who bears false witness against his neighbor.

19Like a broken tooth or a foot out of joint is confidence in a faithless man in time of trouble.

Read all of Proverbs 25 — A new section: proverbs copied by Hezekiah's scribes. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.